[Level - Public]

Erm. So. Jogging gear.

I might need a .... hoodie. To cover up and stay warm when it's cooler. Me. In a hoodie. UGH!

So, I've decided I want this black one here;



Stuff it, if I'm going to jog, I'm going to jog in STYLE baby, yeah!

INO, things at home are going, all things considered, remarkably well. Just echoing and confirming what [livejournal.com profile] devalmont has said really. *nods*
ebb: (Heartbroken)
( Apr. 21st, 2009 04:49 pm)
[Level – Public]
(so that those few of you from his lj and not mine can see this)

So, August 1st 2004 was an important day in the lives of [livejournal.com profile] devalmont and [livejournal.com profile] ebb. It was (as we both agree) the day we officially got together as a couple, though it had been on the cards for a little while. Since that time, we’ve been through ups, downs and have become desperately good friends. I love him to bits and he tells and shows me that he loves me to bits too. Which is why it’s with a bit of sadness that April 20th 2009 needs to be mentioned, as it’s the day we decided to move on to other things.

Why this is on lj )

Why and how we've come to this decission )

What's next )

Tea, hugs, sympathy will all be very much appreciated but not wholly necessary – honestly, coping okay. But feel free to drag me out to things, I might have a tendency to hermit otherwise. I’m pretty sure Rich will say a similar thing!

Lastly, I’ve invested a lot of time and energy into this relationship – we both did. I don’t regret a second of it and I’m sad to see it go. But I’m happy that I’ve got a wonderful friend at the end of it and I’m convinced we’re both doing the best thing for each other and for ourselves. The time is right to move on. Regardless, thanks for our time together Rich, it was really special. x
ebb: (Calm)
( Jan. 2nd, 2007 09:06 pm)
[Level - Public]

A rather belated HAPPY NEW YEAR to all of you firstly.
Secondly, resolutions are something I never keep so I won't be making any.
Thirdly, I have now returned from my countrywide zip about (though I'm sorry for missing pubbage tonight, but [livejournal.com profile] devalmont and I really needed some together time).

This means a further two things; [livejournal.com profile] deborah_c, I am at your disposal this week. Let me know when is good (if you haven't already, which I'm about to check). [livejournal.com profile] gandalf_t_black - tomorrow evening would be favourable. Also, I could really do with catching up with the rest of you too which I'm hoping will happen soon.

In brief, I had two lovely family Christmases and a great catch-up with friends in my home town (some of whom I hadn't seen for literally years) at New Years. I'll try to do a proper write-up soon but I'm off now to return to [livejournal.com profile] devalmont - foodage then dvdness I think.

Oh! And [livejournal.com profile] min_ki - when you read this, if you're in North Carolina make sure you post? I'd love to know how you're getting on (and thanks for talking with me earlier, it really helped).
[Level - Public]

And so it arrives (or at least, is almost here!). All about the dreaded V word... )

Looking back over lj and my post last year I think the sentiments still ring true - I hope that you all get the happiness you deserve, whether that's being blissfully single or otherwise.

NB - if there are, as usual, a plethora of crush questionnaires about to hit lj, my advice would be only admit the ones you'd admit to others. They usually sell the information on later. Being a sensible girl who only has room for one wonderful person, this doesn't affect me but just keep it in mind!
ebb: (Loved)
( Jan. 1st, 2006 01:07 pm)
[Level - Public]

First and foremost,

Happy New Year

Here is to a good, peaceful one.

There have been quite a number of changes for me and my loved ones to deal with during 2005. I feel that it was often a bit of an uphill struggle but last night, it felt that we'd reached the sumit all as one and I'm convinced that whilst lots more changes are in store, they're going to be good ones (or at least, affirming ones which help you move on) rather than the chaos and confusion so many of you have known.

It was very difficult being away from [livejournal.com profile] devalmont who I missed terribly at midnight but I think this was the place for me to be. Next time round, wherever he is, I'm by his side as I doubt I could manage again. NYE is traditionally a couples night whereas Christmas is traditionally family. He is both and we didn't manage to be together either time.

Spending Christmas with my parents was very important to me this year and I'm really pleased I did. [livejournal.com profile] min_ki graduates this year and is unlikely to be able to get Christmas off. I've already decided that this year will be spent with [livejournal.com profile] devalmont and basically I think it will be some years before we're all able to be there at the same time again.

I spent my New Years surrounded by some of the most wonderful and amazing people I know and it was great to be together for what I think might be the last such comprehensive gathering. Lots of effort was generally made by people with costumes, the most impressive being [livejournal.com profile] reverend2001 with is Jareth impression. LOVED the wig!

These last 3 years in Brum have been fantastic due to a very special group of people who I miss dearly. It feels as if everyone is at a crossroads and different directions are on the cards for them all. So to everyone who came to HoG for the New Years party, thank you for making it a special last one for me. Next year, wherever [livejournal.com profile] devalmont is, I will be.

All the best for 2006.

[livejournal.com profile] _ebb_

xxx
ebb: (Drunk)
( Sep. 5th, 2005 04:39 pm)
[Level - Public]

Well, good and bad stuff has happened this last couple of weeks. Firstly, I have a permanent job (w00t!) starting next Monday, all being well (12th Sept.)

Secondly, I had a lovely visit from [livejournal.com profile] sapphrine in Cambridge on Friday night.

The train journey up to Brum on Saturday was easy and straightforward enough (and very soppy - I can hardly believe how stupidly gooey I am with [livejournal.com profile] devalmont - it makes ME sick sometimes!). Except that I couldn't see a blinkin' thing. I do however now own a gorgeous satin and velvet and lace skirt. B had a, I hope, wonderful 90th party and it was lovely to spend some time with S and D on Sunday and now have my photo on the wall which meant a huge amount to me. I left, very unwillingly, at New Street yesterday and spent the remainder of the evening at the Red Lion and HoG.

Today I have mostly been spending lots of money. I now have 2 pairs of glasses and can see again, after breaking them Friday night and having a headache since. The problem is, oddly enough, I can *actually* SEE everything. I don't have to half squint to see things at a distance, which I'd slowly had to do more and more. I therefore feel a bit dizzy and have 0 depth perception. Hey ho.

I'm off to have a meal cooked for me this evening (which I'm looking forward to) and plan to see [livejournal.com profile] gracious1 tomorrow lunchtime. No plans tomorrow night so I'm going to batt my eyelids at people and hope they offer to cook here for me!

Anyway, as much as I enjoy seeing everyone, I miss my love hugely. I've only been apart from him for 23 hours and it is definately too much. Not sure how I'm going to manage getting through to Sunday, but it'll be great to see my parents and spend some time at Island Meadow. It is SUCH a magical place. Yey for Duck and Pony eggs, the Kings Head and Pilchard (and the Waterman... those who intend to visit on Wednesday night!!).

Off for now - I've tried mobiles and or landlines for a few of you but if I haven't caught you yet, check your messages! I'm free tomorrow afternoon and briefly on Wednesday morning (though I'm going virtually straight to Stratford in the morning).

Will update in the next day or so but until then, toodles.
ebb: (Hurt)
( Feb. 4th, 2004 08:08 am)
I've a lot of changing to do this month. Changes that I'm determined to make, but that aren't going to be easy for me. Changes that are needed both for myself long term, and for any chance of my relationships to work. And in order to make those changes, to the level I think is required, I'm going to need what I ask for in return because we're talking pretty major overhaul of character here.

If someone turns round after months and months of bliss and tells you that they're unsure if they love you or not, it hurts. Majorly. It's something I'm dealing with, but it's far from easy. It's changed the relationship instantly. If I'm "in love", the physical aspects as well as the mental aspects of the relationship serve to re-confirm my feelings constantly. I don't and can't treat the two seperately. So I see physical affection from someone who's "in love" with me as the same.

If they're emotions have changed towards me, I can't, for my own sake, accept anywhere near the same level of affection from them because it's more to me than a kiss! It's "I love you", and if they aren't certain of that, it gives me mixed signals.

I may not doubt my own feelings towards [livejournal.com profile] sapphrine at all, but he isn't certain of his own towards me and until it's established, one way or another, how he does feel, certain things are hurtful which aren't at all meant to be. I can't accept any physical assurance from him, because I'll take it at the time to mean "we're ok, I love you, it's all fine now" - which it isn't by any means and I know it. So I'd rather avoid that pain, the conflict it causes in me.

So, all that said.... does that make sense to anyone else? How would you deal with a similar situation? Am I being unreasonable?
ebb: (Default)
( Feb. 1st, 2004 01:11 am)
Please guys, this is hard enough without anyone talking to me about it. This is something that's going to take a lot of work between myself and [livejournal.com profile] sapphrine, and the last thing I want or need is any sympathy or concern. It distracts from what needs to be done and I don't want or need it.

I'm not sure who he's made his post open to, but it covers everything that needs to be said. If you can't see it, I'll sum up. We are on the verge of splitting up and it's currently on a knife edge. Yes, it is THAT serious.

Please respect both of us and give us our individual space and time to get this sorted out - the large part of which will be spent appart I think, so don't assume that if I'm alone that I'm lonely.

I'll ask for your view/opinion/help/concern if I feel I need or want it.

Thanks.

-Edit- Sorry if this sounds ungrateful, but it's what I truly need.
ebb: (Default)
( Aug. 17th, 2003 02:37 pm)
Firstly, it's now exactly 4 months since [livejournal.com profile] sapphrine and I started dating.

Secondly, I've now been employed for a week, working for Birmingham Council's Housing Office. This is good as it means I shall be able to afford food etc. Thankfully my wonderful parents sent a nice loan at the start of the week so my bank account isn't looking too dead. AND I also had the pleasure of a wonderful meal on my return from work on Monday evening. In addition, the lovely miss [livejournal.com profile] zevbofb3k made up my packed lunch on Wednesday. She makes CRACKING cheese savoury. (Thank you both so much, it was greatly appreciated)

Thirdly, I'm now the owner of a VERY beautiful purple velvet and satinesque dress. It's totally gorgeous, as is the rather spiffy individual who purchased it for me and surprised me with it on Thursday.

Fourthly (I promise to stop numbering them in a tick) I had a wonderful evening on Thursday at a Brumgoth outing to see Pirates of the Carribean. Mr Depp and Mr Bloom did not disappoint. I shall be going to see it again with a group of girls, rather than sitting between 3 goth bois. I couldn't really justify swooning.... although apparently Lynette was more than happy to sigh and moan in a drooling manner.

Fifthly, I now have the photos that Dave at Decline took of myself and [livejournal.com profile] sapphrine a couple of weeks ago. Indeed, more are on the way - there are plans for another photo shoot very shortly which I'm looking forward to. For now, I hope that this picture of [livejournal.com profile] sapphrine, this picture of us both, and this rather amusing one will keep you going. The tweaked and enhanced versions will appear on Decline shortly.

AND finally, I had another wonderful day yesterday in town with [livejournal.com profile] toxicpixie, [livejournal.com profile] sapphrine, Ian and then later in Scruffy Murphy's with Irish Nathan and Rachael, Jennifer, Kim and Zesty, [livejournal.com profile] zevbofb3k and her Ronan, [livejournal.com profile] borange and other folks who's names currently ellude me.

Also, I've happily found the Brum Vampire MET group. Yey! I'm planning to go along and be a background person tonight, but it's not set in stone. It's totally dependant on what [livejournal.com profile] sapphrine and myself end up doing to celebrate.

So after a rather long night, I'm going to get showered and dressed and I shall speak to you all anon.

Em x
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