*mope*

[Level - B (now made Public)]

Please excuse me. I'm a little sad right now. Having attempted an lj catch-up, I've found quite a number of entries which have left me feeling more down than I did at devalmont's departure.

( For those of you who are dreading Valentines.... )

Secondly, I read the journal of a lady who had died. Her partner has continued it, speaking with love and compassion at what I can only imagine must be an incredibly difficult time for him. I shan't put it here but sapphrine lead me to it. It's fragile and beautiful.

Thirdly, as a result of all of this, I remembered how lucky I am.

( I'm loved, truly, and that is so rare I don't know where to start being thankful for it. )

I looked at lj in a vain bid to perk myself up. It hasn't worked. But only because I realise how special my life is and how easily that can go wrong.

I really am so sorry there isn't more I can do or say to help most of you. Right now, I feel rather useless and guilty.

You seem to have such sweet and fond memories of me, have been so kind and caring towards me and so happy for me - I hope I can be happy for you too. Whether you choose to be single, married, have children, have several partners... I wish you could be ok. No, scrub that. I wish you could feel wonderful. You all deserve to.

Thank you, all of you, for being there. For being you.