How I work....

[ebb]

I don't always think and feel rationally, something a few very close people more than understand by now. I tend to feel emotions that are completely unrelated to logic - or rather, my logic.

For instance, right now I'm very miffed at a situation that I've no right to be, and about which I can alter very little. Those involved know all about it, and are perfectly aware that I'm not a happy little ebb at this moment in time, but that there's nothing to be done about it as it is completely and totally unjustified and I know I'm being particularly stupid.

I've just to work through it and come out the other end, which means a little time and patience. Something those who love me seem to have endless amounts of :-).


Someone doesn't really know me. Yet they think can ask personal questions and are seemingly under the impression that they do know me. They feel the need to poke, prod, push and in many ways make me even worse by enquiring about the situation, not listening fully to the fact that I KNOW I'm over-reacting and am truly fine deep down, and then tell me off for feeling that way.

GAH!

My heart and head don't work in unity very often. I do realise this and try to make it very clear to my friends and loved ones.

When I'm angry or upset on the outside, I often know I'm being ridiculous on the inside... it just takes a while to calm myself down and pull my reactions into sync. That isn't an excuse for my behaviour, granted.

But it is the reason.

If I feel the need to go and have some time to myself to gather my thoughts and chill out a bit, to assure myself of things I know to be true, then so be it.

How dare you insinuate that that is in any way, shape or form selfish and self-centred.
To lash out and act out my insecurities and irrational thoughts would be a complete waste of time, not to mention often very rude and inconsiderate to other people.

Why the hell should they have to deal with my problems?

Surely it's infinately better that I resolve the issues myself, my way, in my own time, away from others? Friends who I could easily hurt or confuse with my rather inaccurate feelings as opposed to true thoughts and beliefs on something? Or is being quiet and unsociable for a short while less preferable to a wailing banshee?

You've very nearly incurred my wrath, tread exceptionally carefully. I've done this one to death the last few days and I don't feel I ought to justify my actions any further to someone who is incapable of listening to my explanations and attempting to understand my view point.

I don't expect people to agree with me, but I do expect them to carefully consider what I've said, if they've enquired.



You have been warned.