I've a lot of changing to do this month. Changes that I'm determined to make, but that aren't going to be easy for me. Changes that are needed both for myself long term, and for any chance of my relationships to work. And in order to make those changes, to the level I
think is required, I'm going to need what I ask for in return because we're talking pretty major overhaul of character here.
If someone turns round after months and months of bliss and tells you that they're unsure if they love you or not, it hurts. Majorly. It's something I'm dealing with, but it's far from easy. It's changed the relationship instantly. If I'm "in love", the physical aspects as well as the mental aspects of the relationship serve to re-confirm my feelings constantly. I
don't and can't treat the two seperately. So I see physical affection from someone who's "in love" with me as the same.
If they're emotions have changed towards me, I can't, for my own sake, accept anywhere near the same level of affection from them because
it's more to me than a kiss! It's "I love you", and if they aren't certain of that, it gives me mixed signals.
I may not doubt my own feelings towards sapphrine
at all, but he isn't certain of his own towards me and until it's established, one way or another, how he does feel, certain things are hurtful which aren't at all meant to be. I can't accept any physical assurance from him, because I'll take it at the time to mean "we're ok, I love you, it's all fine now" - which it isn't by any means and I know it. So I'd rather avoid that pain, the conflict it causes in me.
So, all that said.... does that make sense to anyone else? How would you deal with a similar situation? Am I being unreasonable?