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I posted this not so long ago. So to redress the balance, I have another sent-from-my-fab-Mum-in-a-letter to share with you! Her comment was "Let Richard know they're on his side this time. No need to be terrified." :D
Please note these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
Rule 1 : Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that.
Rule 1 : Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Rule 1 : Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changning of the tides. Let it be.
Rule 1 : Shopping is NOT a sport. Ad no, we are never going to think of it that way.
Rule 1 : Crying is blackmail.
Rule 1 : Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on ths one: Subtle hings do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
Rule 1 : Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Rule 1 : Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
Rule 1 : A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Rule 1 : Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an arguement. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
Rule 1 : If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
Rule 1 : If something we said can be interpretted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Rule 1 : You can either ask us how to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know how best to do it, just do it yourself.
Rule 1 : Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Rule 1 : Christopher Columbas did not need directions and neither do we.
Rule 1 : ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Liliac is a flower. We have no idea what mauve is.
Rule 1 : If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
Rule 1 : If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
Rule 1 : If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
Rule 1 : When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
Rule 1 : Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Sex, Sport, or Cars.
Rule 1 : You have enough clothes.
Rule 1 : You have too many shoes.
Rule 1 : I am in shape. Round is a shape.
Rule 1 : Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the settee tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Rule 1 : Speaking of which, what are cushions for?
Hope that made you all giggle and no offence was taken!
I posted this not so long ago. So to redress the balance, I have another sent-from-my-fab-Mum-in-a-letter to share with you! Her comment was "Let Richard know they're on his side this time. No need to be terrified." :D
..:: For the Men ::..
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules:-Please note these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
Rule 1 : Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that.
Rule 1 : Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Rule 1 : Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changning of the tides. Let it be.
Rule 1 : Shopping is NOT a sport. Ad no, we are never going to think of it that way.
Rule 1 : Crying is blackmail.
Rule 1 : Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on ths one: Subtle hings do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
Rule 1 : Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Rule 1 : Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
Rule 1 : A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Rule 1 : Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an arguement. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
Rule 1 : If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
Rule 1 : If something we said can be interpretted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Rule 1 : You can either ask us how to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know how best to do it, just do it yourself.
Rule 1 : Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Rule 1 : Christopher Columbas did not need directions and neither do we.
Rule 1 : ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Liliac is a flower. We have no idea what mauve is.
Rule 1 : If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
Rule 1 : If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
Rule 1 : If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
Rule 1 : When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
Rule 1 : Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Sex, Sport, or Cars.
Rule 1 : You have enough clothes.
Rule 1 : You have too many shoes.
Rule 1 : I am in shape. Round is a shape.
Rule 1 : Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the settee tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Rule 1 : Speaking of which, what are cushions for?
Hope that made you all giggle and no offence was taken!
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"Rule 1 : If something we said can be interpretted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one."
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my favourite one was rule 1 :)
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xx
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I think someone should come up with a Goth version 'cos one can _never_ have too many shoes ;-)
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