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I woke up this morning feeling incredibly strong.
I don't need anyone. I'd forgotten just how strong I can actually be. But it's great to know that people are there for you if you simply want them to help you.
( I don't mean to be cold.... )
This is quite strange!
I think that the more someone is there for you, gradually the more you just accept that they're going to be. That it's the done thing. ( You take it for granted. )
But when I'm single, I'm fierce! I just need to keep hold of this mindset - no, I'm not single. ( I've used someone as a crutch. )
Yes, I've got to find a ( balance. )
Ultimately, I'm doing this for me. ( Not him and not us. )
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sapphrine - I look at him and think WOW! He's absolutely gorgeous. I love him to bits. But that's just it - he's HIM. ( He's not ME. )I've been a drain and that's not a partnership. It's a death sentence.
But the more he's done it, the more I've let me, the more I've asked him, the more he's done it. ( It's been a vicious circle. )
Last night, he described it as ( 'going cold turkey', but in ) the nicest possible way, I don't want his help through this. I want to talk, lots, and explain what's happening in my mind. But not for any assurance or boosts, not for any comment on his part. Just to enable him to understand. I'm well and truly standing solo and it'd be great if we can continue as lovers and partners. He's a wonderful man. Take away all the shit I've put him through, take away the crap he's occasionally put me through, and I feel we've made a very successful couple. It really can only get better.
And right now, I know that no matter what happens, our relationship will improve. ( Even if we become just friends. )
I feel I've walked away from the creature I'd allowed myself to become, and I feel confident about me and my future - whether or not it lies insapphrines direction remains to be seen, and I hope it does. Whatever the outcome, it's going to be fun and I'm going to enjoy it!
I don't need anyone. I'd forgotten just how strong I can actually be. But it's great to know that people are there for you if you simply want them to help you.
( I don't mean to be cold.... )
This is quite strange!
I think that the more someone is there for you, gradually the more you just accept that they're going to be. That it's the done thing. ( You take it for granted. )
But when I'm single, I'm fierce! I just need to keep hold of this mindset - no, I'm not single. ( I've used someone as a crutch. )
Yes, I've got to find a ( balance. )
Ultimately, I'm doing this for me. ( Not him and not us. )
sapphrine - I look at him and think WOW! He's absolutely gorgeous. I love him to bits. But that's just it - he's HIM. ( He's not ME. )I've been a drain and that's not a partnership. It's a death sentence. But the more he's done it, the more I've let me, the more I've asked him, the more he's done it. ( It's been a vicious circle. )
Last night, he described it as ( 'going cold turkey', but in ) the nicest possible way, I don't want his help through this. I want to talk, lots, and explain what's happening in my mind. But not for any assurance or boosts, not for any comment on his part. Just to enable him to understand. I'm well and truly standing solo and it'd be great if we can continue as lovers and partners. He's a wonderful man. Take away all the shit I've put him through, take away the crap he's occasionally put me through, and I feel we've made a very successful couple. It really can only get better.
And right now, I know that no matter what happens, our relationship will improve. ( Even if we become just friends. )
I feel I've walked away from the creature I'd allowed myself to become, and I feel confident about me and my future - whether or not it lies in
sapphrines direction remains to be seen, and I hope it does. Whatever the outcome, it's going to be fun and I'm going to enjoy it!
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